What sick ridiculous puppets we are and what gross little stage we dance on What fun we have dancing and fucking Not a care in the world Not knowing that we are nothing We are not what was intended. People don't want a hero, they want to eat cheeseburgers, play the lotto and watch television. On the subway today, a man came up to me to start a conversation. He made small talk, a lonely man talking about the weather and other things. I tried to be pleasant and accommodating, but my head hurt from his banality. I almost didn't notice it had happened, but I suddenly threw up all over him. He was not pleased, and I couldn't stop laughing.
I'm starting to see the idiocy in the things I've done over the past few years. I'm getting glimpses into the perspectives of others; the perspectives of people whose minds I'm truly against; and what they think and feel almost makes sense to me, for those moments. I've always believed I was doing the right thing for others, but what have I left myself with? I've hurt people; I've hurt myself. I've done some stupid things, because I wantedto hurt myself. I've had my head in the clouds while I've fucked around and given myself the image of a beast. I've done so much, to help people I care about, but what have I done to myself? And who says I've been anything like what I think I've been? Someone with the best intention, can easily look like the biggest tool, regardless of what they try and achieve. Hell, people have even died because of me. Do I even deserve to be here? Fuck.
#
Posted on Wednesday, 08 April 2009 at 4:21 PM
Edited on Saturday, 12 September 2009 at 5:07 AM